The producers explore three angles to explain the inexplicable: Aaron’s sexuality, CTE and family trauma.
Beyond the Headlines
I think the producers treat his alleged sexual orientation in a salacious way and miss the big point. Just like the “Surviving R Kelly” series, sexual abuse he suffered as a child was at the center of Hernandez’s story. But both series only mention this in passing. If you got up to grab a glass of water during the 3 and 1/2 hour series, you could have missed that detail. As we know, sexual trauma can cause a lifetime of pain, confusion, denial and acting out. By acting out, I mean hurting others. Abused people often abuse people. If one cannot achieve inner-peace on the front, it is often a long painful journey. But one cannot live in victimhood despite whatever level of PTSD one has. Clearly, there was unresolved anger on that front that manifested in several ways. It was tragic the families who lost their children because of his uncontrolled anger. But someone who has not been through trauma as a child has no sense of that battle. To quote one of my own family members: “Where we come from, we have all been through sexual abuse.” His brother Jonathan and one of Hernandez’s teammates speaks to all of these dynamics in this article
https://people.com/crime/aaron-hernandez-conflict-over-sexuality-was-part-of-larger-struggle-ex-teammate-says/
CTE
Getting pounded like that since the time you are 12 years old can’t be good. That could have hyper-intensified the socio-pathetic, violent qualities he showed. The doctors had never seen a brain of somebody so young so completely deteriorated.
Generational Trauma/Family Dynamics
This is another under-explored. Any social worker would have dug much deeper here. His mother and father seemed to personify some of the worst characteristics of our family members. Denial, violence, opportunism, self-seekingness, narcissism. He felt real anger towards his mother. His relationship with his older cousin Tanya was a testament to the volatile relationship he had with his mom. It was tougher for him to express rage towards the father because he had died a tragic death from cancer. Not being able to even voice the abuse he suffered to his mom and dad? That can create high levels of disassociation & compartmentalization. His parents seemed like if they would have told him to “man up” if he dared voice any type of trauma. He was trapped within himself and a great deal of self-hatred. Something else that could be explored was how little of a connection he seemed to have to his Puerto Rican/Latin@ roots. I’ll leave that for another essay.
How Many Generations?
Regardless, “Killer Inside” was an important riposte/counterargument to what the mainstream media pumped down our throats — “here is a guy who had it all and threw it all away because he was an evil murderer.” Clearly, Aaron Hernandez had a lot against him and never found ways to articulate any of the pain. The documentary is more of a condemnation of a collective failure as a society than an individual demonization. It is important viewing.
Rest in Peace to all of the people murdered and to Aaron. Peace to their families. How many generations will it take to reverse this epidemic of sexual abuse of women and children? How could Aaron have healed if he had support and recovery?

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